Sister Annette Wagner
Incarnate Word and Blessed Sacrament Sister
Director of the Pastoral Institute

Once upon a time there was a little girl who dreamed of being a Sister. 

This is one way to start the story of how I found my way into religious life. . . or rather how God brought me into religious life.

Thanks to many sacrifices on the part of my parents, my three sisters and I went to Catholic schools from first grade all the way through high school.  The first five years of my education I was taught by the School Sisters of Notre Dame at Christ the King in Corpus Christi.  I remember their gentle yet firm discipline and their constant encouragement for even us first-graders to develop a personal relationship with a loving God.

The day for our First Communion (in the morning) was also the day of our Confirmation (in the afternoon).  The picture of our afternoon in the church is clear:  boys hardly recognizable in their suits on one side; girls in our white dresses and veils on the other.  Before the sacramental ritual began, Bishop Garriga asked us a few questions.  When he asked all the girls who wanted to be a Sister, we all raised their hands.  When he asked the boys who wanted to be a priest, all the hands went up except one, who was holding out to become pope!

Fast forward to upper grade school.  In sixth grade we moved to St. Patrick Parish and I met the Sisters of the Incarnate Word and Blessed Sacrament.  They continued to be an important presence in my life through my high school years, helping me discover potentials and possibilities.

As I grew and my life became more interesting socially, there was always the echo of the bishop’s question and my whole-hearted answer.  It was just something I knew would happen some day; it was also something my father did not want me to forget.  Perhaps as I began to date, he got a little worried.  At the most unexpected moments, like when I was taking my turn at washing dishes, he would be at my side, saying softly into my ear, “Are you still thinking about being a Sister?”  My answer was always a determined—almost insulted at the suggested doubt, “YES!” 

And then there were those times when I would come in from a date or some other social event. . . and even though I had a great time, a speaker in my mind would pop out the same question, “Yes, but is this the kind of thing that you want to do all your life?”

During my Senior year at Incarnate Word Academy I was invited by one of the Sisters to attend a week-end retreat at the convent.  Since I had never said anything to her about my secret plans, I was delighted.  There is not one specific detail that I remember about what we did that week-end.  All I do remember is that when I left that Sunday afternoon I knew that religious life was not just the fantasy of a first grader.  It was where I was supposed to be.  I also knew myself well enough to know that after graduation, it would be “now or never.” If I put off making the move “until later,” I would probably never do it.

There were still a few “loose ends” to deal with.  First, my mother needed some convincing.  Second was to decide which group of Sisters to join.  I still had—and still do have-- a special place in my heart for the “Notre Dame Sisters.” But after prayer and reflection, I believed that I was being called to live my life as an Incarnate Word Sisters.

            And then, of course, there were the last-minute doubts.  During the summer months between graduation and entrance, the words of the diocesan vocation director, Father Tengler, became a litany for me:  “Well, what if you don’t give it a try?  You will spend the rest of your life wondering.  Why don’t you just try it and see?” 

During the summer, I took a trip to say good-bye to my grandmother and Protestant grandfather.  He must have broken one of his personal rules when he commented to me that he believed that God did not want us to run away from life.  Knowing what he was trying to say about women in the convent and grateful for his caring, my response was immediate and clear:  “Granddad, I don’t think I am running away from life.  I think I am running toward life.” The last night I was home, my older sister sat and watched me pack, and wondered out loud if I wouldn’t get bored (horrors!).

Decades later, I am grateful for all the nudges God sent me along the way, and I am sure that I landed in the right spot.  It did not take my mother long to recognize the fit.  Yes, I am positive that I am being drawn closer and closer to the Source of all Life.  No, I have never been bored.  I have had numerous unexpected adventures and discovered many unsuspected talents.  Through it all I have had loving support from other women who have found their life and their Life in this religious community.

The story is not completely finished, but so far I can say there is a happy almost-ending.  I am not sure what happened to my classmate who planned to be pope, but I do know what happened to the little girl who dreamed of being a Sister.  And I am sure God never gives us a dream that cannot become a reality.